Legs restless, feet tapping, hands wringing then running through hair, twisting, grabbing.
Press palms to eye, keep it from escaping.
Nothing works, it keeps coming. Why won’t it stop?
Distract yourself, do something, do anything.
It’s trying to worm its way out of your skull. Stop it!
Why won’t it stop?
Breathe, try to breathe. Control it. I know it doesn’t work, do it anyway! It’s your body, you’re in charge. Fight it dammit!
Get up, it’s obviously not going away. Take something. Drown it. Kill it. Distract yourself until it works.
It’s going to work, it has to work. If it doesn’t you’ll eventually go insane.
This time is no different. You can beat it, you always beat it.
Every time feels like the first time. Can’t hold onto the pain.
Don’t want to.
No, but the memory might be helpful.
Doesn’t matter. You remember winning, that’s enough.
I suppose so, but it doesn’t make it easier.
Who ever said life was easy?
Suck it up. Just breathe.
Now stop writing and stick your head in hot water. The heat helps.
See I can be helpful.